There are many differences between human sexual activities and animal sexual performance. The main difference is eroticism, besides the fact that we humans do not have restricted periods for sexual activities.

All human beings are born with the wonderful ability to fully enjoy sexuality without periods of restriction with the amazing and unique ability to imagine, fantasize, recreate, and improve our sexuality, beyond the simple act of penetration. All this capacity for actions, thoughts, fantasies and emotions about sex, reaches a mental and emotional sphere of transcendental influence which is translated as eroticism, a mental/emotional behaviour essentially belonging only to us, the human species.

EROTICISM AND SEX

The word eroticism comes from the Greek word “Erys” meaning passionate love and sensual desire and from the Greek mythology god “Eros”. For the ancient Greeks, Eros was the god of love, son of Aphrodite, represented as a young man with wings and a bow with arrows of passion to injure his victims with the fire of passionate love. This character is also known as “Cupid”.

Eroticism is related to sexuality and all its projections by an exquisite exaltation, both physically and mentally, producing a deep interest in sex. This erotic feeling or emotional state is often mistakenly confused with fetishism (passion and desire for an object or body part), sexual compulsion (uncontrollable desire for sex), and even confused with pornography (sexually explicit entertainment for adults).

IMPORTANCE OF EROTICISM IN RELATIONSHIPS

As I always have said, being in love is a biochemical phenomenon, specifically directed to one single person, ignoring the rest and occurring at a particular time and moment. This magnificent stage called “in love” is not maintained by its self, couples have to be simultaneously “in” doing passion works to maintain such feelings through time, otherwise, it will wear off. Eroticism is one of the best tools and easiest way to create and maintain the amazing feeling of staying in love with passion.

People usually tend to wrongly assume that passion and the in-love-stage are only present on the first phase of any relationship, which after a period of time will normally disappear, so couples become in the long term just partners (or I would say “roommates”), with no passion, no desires for each another, becoming boring people in a long-term relationship. This is absolutely false! Any couple can start the passion and become more passionate, loving and happier through time by working in a daily base on their relationship and sex life. One way is through erotic thoughts and acts.

The question couples always ask me is, “How to keep the passion alive?” My answer is: Through putting your partner FIRST, by paying real ATTENTION to him or her, by real COMMUNICATION and INTIMACY, and by increasing EROTIC BEHAVIOUR in your daily life. In that way, you and your partner will be connected and keep that connection through time.

RESCUING PASSION

Eroticism can help you to amazingly improve your relationship through the following way:

  • Emotional and mental state that acts on the nervous system, which drives you back to your sexual desire and thus sex life.
  • By incorporating eroticism in all its forms of expression, enhancing your vision, touching, smelling, tasting, hearing, in your daily life.
  • Opening your partner’s and your five senses: touch (feel), sight (observe), olfactory (smell), taste (taste), ear (hear). This can be done through erotic art, erotic literature, erotic music, and everything and every action that may lead to sensual delight inducing sexual desire and lust.

Use your imagination and fantasies, improve them, don’t avoid but enjoy them. Through thoughts, creativity, and imagination is that erotic feelings may impact your sex life to experience a transcendental sexuality.

Prepare and sensitize yourself and your partner physically and psychologically for sexual activity. Especially women need to be prepared and ready, through a positive state of mind, to have and enjoy sex. Passionate behaviour with an erotic mind is key to an outstanding sex life which will truly nurture the whole relationship.

There is a strong connection between sex, the brain and eroticism. Eroticism is within the brain and travels throughout the body through the senses making men and women more sensual and sexual. In words of the famous writer Octavio Paz, “Eroticism is invention, endless variation, but sex is always the same.”

Dr. Heinz

 


Dr. Heinz

Aleida Heinz is a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, is a board-certified sexologist, bilingual, with over 20 years of experience in private practice. Dr. Heinz specializes in relationships, sexuality, intimacy, communication, infidelity, and sexual pleasure.

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